The Bright Side of Falling Down the Stairs

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This morning was one of the busiest mornings I've had for a while. In the aftermath of Easter, my house was a jelly-bean, plastic egg, Easter Basket disaster- complete with no groceries in the fridge, no meal plans for the week and certainly no laundry clean. I woke up in a panic-like state, rushing around to grab dirty clothes, pull up some healthy past menus on my computer, and assembling my grocery list in the span of about 10 minutes. On top of this, my brain was wracked with guilt from the Easter indulgences of the two days before and was harassing me to get my butt to the gym. My husband also had to get to work in about 15 minutes and would require his morning green smoothie and packed lunch. At that moment, I started to panic and become overwhelmed. The list of "to dos" inside my head started to become a scroll. As I sat there quickly writing a grocery list, my 2-year-old's voice came out of the monitor to let me know he was awake, wet, and upset! I ran upstairs to get him, hurriedly changed him and his crib sheets, then realized I still hadn't made my husband his smoothie or lunch yet.

I plopped my son onto my right hip, and started down the stairs…that's when my heel slipped out from under me. I fell backwards on my bum and slid down about seven stairs, with my son in my arms. Thank goodness I had him on my right side, because it freed up my left hand to reach across and grab the banister to stop me from going forward, which is where my body was headed. I remember screaming in short bursts all the way down. When we finally stopped, I looked at my son, who I had instinctively gripped so tight to my body, that I had to peel him off of me. He looked at me and said "are you OK, Mommy?" I almost started bawling right there, but I remained calm because my husband was at the top of the stairs staring at me with terror. My son was fine since he rode my hip all the way down and got out of our tumble unscathed. I told my husband that I was fine too in order to alleviate his worry and lower his blood pressure. 

The truth is, I was not fine, my neck and back immediately started to ache. I was also very shaken up since I've had "daymares" about this exact incident happening with my son in my arms. The whole day I wanted to sit on the couch and lick my wounds. I wanted to indulge in large amounts of fatty starch-laden comfort foods. I started on my usual thought-roller coaster, which I've ridden many times before. 

"You deserve to go out to lunch today, let's just go get fast food."
"You suck at everything!"

"Just order some pizza tonight and stay on the couch."
"You are such a klutz!"

"Don't go workout, it'll just hurt your neck and back more!" 

"Can't you do anything right?"

A few years ago, I would have ridden this roller coaster all the way to the magical feeling-suppressing Kingdoms of Burger King & Dairy Queen where I'd end up on the couch at the end of it all; guilt-ridden and soaked in self-hatred. A few french fries short of a heart attack and the only movement I'd had was the movement of my jaw over a double bacon cheeseburger. You can read more about my story here.

Though I still have to work very hard to resist those urges, I re-frame my thoughts and use a different method of self-talk nowadays. It gets me out of trouble every time. When I had a quick moment to myself this morning, I asked myself these 4 questions: 

1. "What am I feeling about this incident?" I am feeling shaken up and physically sore. Since this was something I dreaded would happen, I am feeling unstable and fearful that my other imagined "worst case" scenarios will now come true as well.

2. "What do I NEED to help myself though this?" I need some comfort, that's probably why I'm craving comfort foods, or foods from my childhood when my mom would take care of me after falling. I also need some reassurance that my other worst-case scenarios will not come true.

3. "How can I get what I need without food?" I can get a shoulder massage from my husband, or go see a massage therapist for my neck and shoulders. I can also go to gym and do Yoga to stretch my body out. I can call up my folks or talk to my husband and get some sympathy or reassurance that everything is going to be OK. 

4. "What can I learn from this? Where is the bright side here?" The bright side of falling down the stairs this morning, is that my son didn't get hurt. Even though it has always been a fear of mine, it didn't result in a horrific accident, just a sore neck. I can use this situation to help me to remember that I need to SLOW DOWN and give myself a break for not having some things done after a long eventful weekend. 

As you can see, taking a few minutes to silently reflect and check-in with yourself by asking the above questions, will really help you gain clarity and control over any situation. Instead of being taken on a roller coaster ride, you will put yourself in the driver's seat. This can help you obtain a more positive outlook on life, and it will help guard you against emotional & compulsive eating that many people run to when they don't know how to deal with yucky situations presented to them in their life.

How do you deal with stressful or yucky occurrences in your life? Leave a comment below about what's worked for you in dealing with life's little lemons.

Sincerely,
Coach Maureen
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Realistic Self-Care for Women (No, this is not another "take a bubble bath" blog)

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Self-Care is a subject that has been popping up a lot lately. Everyone talks about it, or tells their friends in passing that they need to "take better care of themselves" but no one seems to really know how or what that means. Many of the Self-Care blogs I've read give you lists of items like take a warm bubble bath with rose peddles, brush your skin, practice oil pulling, etc., etc. But who wants to pick out soggy rose peddles from their tub the next morning, clean up dead skin cells, or try to stifle a gag reflex while swishing oil between their teeth?

And who has time to do all that at 9pm when the kids are finally asleep, dishes are done, your husband's drunk on the couch watching sports, and you want nothing more than to crawl into bed and watch The Voice?

This is where I've found many Self-Care ideas to be a nice thoughts, but totally unrealistic for everyday life. At least in the ways that I have seen being suggested. However, Self-Care is totally necessary to live a happy, fulfilling life. If you don't consciously take care of yourself, you will find yourself unconsciously taking care of yourself in other ways, like polishing off an entire bag of chips in the dark at 1:00am (to keep company the bottle of Skinny Girl Margaritas you slugged down earlier).

My version of Self-Care is a bit less glamorous, but a lot easier to pull off in daily life. Here are my top 5 tips for DOABLE everyday Self-Care techniques & activities:

1. Put on a jacket when it's cold outside. I can't tell you how many times I've spent an hour making sure my son is dressed, pressed, and ready for the day, yet I can barely seem to throw on a pair of flip flops in a winter storm. On more than one occasion, I've been late because I've wanted to make sure my son had a jacket, hat, booties, and gloves. Then I get into the car, and realize I'm not even close to being prepared for the blizzard outside. In fact, I usually don't even have a jacket on! If you wouldn't let your child out of the house without a jacket- you shouldn't let yourself out without a jacket! In other words- treat yourself like you would treat your offspring!! That goes for sunscreen, hats and sunglasses, with the coming warm weather too! Turn around and go back to the house if you forgot something for yourself, just the way you would do for your child.

2. Eat good/warm food. There has been many-a-mealtime when I've gotten everybody in the family (including my two dogs) food before serving myself. By the time I get to serving myself, my food is cold and I don't even take the time to heat it up again! What's up with that? Sometimes I even give myself the most burnt piece of chicken or, worse yet, the piece that fell on the floor! This is NOT SELF-CARE! Give yourself a plate of beautiful, hot, healthy, un-burnt food, just as you would give to the other members of your family.

3. Smile at your reflection. Whether you are walking by a coffee shop window or catch a glimpse of your face in the bathroom mirror while washing your hands, smile at yourself! Give yourself the same toothy, loving grin that you would give a small child. If no one is around, say something like "you look so hot today" or "I am so proud of you". Even if you don't feel like smiling or saying something nice to yourself, do it anyway, it will eventually become as natural and automatic as it is when you see a cute baby. You are a perfect, divine, unique creation that should be celebrated by everyone around you, including and especially YOU.

4. Don't get stale with your daily routine. Give yourself a choice about the (seemingly) little things each day. For instance, buy sexy colorful undies (or, even better, day of the week undies!) Buy several flavors of natural toothpaste and choose a new one each day. If you drink tea each morning buy every flavor you love and ask yourself, "am I going to have a Smooth Mint kind of day, or is it a Green Hibiscus day?" Switch up your gym routine each time you go by doing Yoga one day, and then Spinning class the next. Sit on a different side of the lunch table, or go outside to eat on sunny days. You can 'switch it up' with packs of gum, sunglasses, radio stations, watches, jewelry, condiments, hair accessories, fruits, veggies, socks, lipsticks, workouts, you name it. It really is the little things that will brighten your mood and give you more control throughout the day.

5. Read your junk-food novel or magazine, play your junk-food iPod game, or watch your junk-food TV show every night (or day, depending on your schedule). Skip the bubble bath (unless you love them) and engage in a bit of junk! I'm not talking about a 1200 calorie rendezvous with the Keebler Elves. Excuse yourself for 30-60 minutes every day or night and allow yourself to indulge, YOU-Style. If it's a few minutes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, throw it on- no judgement here. If you have waited several days to make your move in Words With Friends (people still play that game- right?), now's the time to get to it. Grab your reading glasses, a comfy spot in your bed, and devour this month's copy of People Magazine! Anything you like- give yourself the pleasure of doing it without apologies and without interruptions. "Sorry Joey- Mommy's having her Candy Crush time, and if you interrupt me again during Candy Crush time, you'll be sleeping with the neighbor's new Pitt Bull- Love You!"

So, as you can see, Self-Care is not as hard to practice as we previously thought, and it is VITAL to achieving a healthy self-image and self-esteem. Without that, life can seem boring and sad. Hopefully these tips will help you weave Self-Care practices into your everyday routine so you can have a more joyful & fulfilling existence.

What ways to you weave Self-Care into your day? Leave a comment below about your unique Self-Care ideas and tips!

Sincerely,
Coach Maureen
Are you guilty of a little overindulging lately? Get Back on Track with my FREE 7-Day Cleanse! Click here to claim it now!