Monday, April 21, 2014

The Bright Side of Falling Down the Stairs




This morning was one of the busiest mornings I've had for a while. In the aftermath of Easter, my house was a jelly-bean, plastic egg, Easter Basket disaster- complete with no groceries in the fridge, no meal plans for the week and certainly no laundry clean. I woke up in a panic-like state, rushing around to grab dirty clothes, pull up some healthy past menus on my computer, and assembling my grocery list in the span of about 10 minutes. On top of this, my brain was wracked with guilt from the Easter indulgences of the two days before and was harassing me to get my butt to the gym. My husband also had to get to work in about 15 minutes and would require his morning green smoothie and packed lunch. At that moment, I started to panic and become overwhelmed. The list of "to dos" inside my head started to become a scroll. As I sat there quickly writing a grocery list, my 2-year-old's voice came out of the monitor to let me know he was awake, wet, and upset! I ran upstairs to get him, hurriedly changed him and his crib sheets, then realized I still hadn't made my husband his smoothie or lunch yet.

I plopped my son onto my right hip, and started down the stairs…that's when my heel slipped out from under me. I fell backwards on my bum and slid down about seven stairs, with my son in my arms. Thank goodness I had him on my right side, because it freed up my left hand to reach across and grab the banister to stop me from going forward, which is where my body was headed. I remember screaming in short bursts all the way down. When we finally stopped, I looked at my son, who I had instinctively gripped so tight to my body, that I had to peel him off of me. He looked at me and said "are you OK, Mommy?" I almost started bawling right there, but I remained calm because my husband was at the top of the stairs staring at me with terror. My son was fine since he rode my hip all the way down and got out of our tumble unscathed. I told my husband that I was fine too in order to alleviate his worry and lower his blood pressure. 

The truth is, I was not fine, my neck and back immediately started to ache. I was also very shaken up since I've had "daymares" about this exact incident happening with my son in my arms. The whole day I wanted to sit on the couch and lick my wounds. I wanted to indulge in large amounts of fatty starch-laden comfort foods. I started on my usual thought-roller coaster, which I've ridden many times before. 

"You deserve to go out to lunch today, let's just go get fast food."
"You suck at everything!"
"Just order some pizza tonight and stay on the couch."
"You are such a klutz!"
"Don't go workout, it'll just hurt your neck and back more!" 
"Can't you do anything right?"

A few years ago, I would have ridden this roller coaster all the way to the magical feeling-suppressing Kingdoms of Burger King & Dairy Queen where I'd end up on the couch at the end of it all; guilt-ridden and soaked in self-hatred. A few french fries short of a heart attack and the only movement I'd had was the movement of my jaw over a double bacon cheeseburger. You can read more about my story here.

Though I still have to work very hard to resist those urges, I re-frame my thoughts and use a different method of self-talk nowadays. It gets me out of trouble every time. When I had a quick moment to myself this morning, I asked myself these 4 questions: 

1. "What am I feeling about this incident?" I am feeling shaken up and physically sore. Since this was something I dreaded would happen, I am feeling unstable and fearful that my other imagined "worst case" scenarios will now come true as well.

2. "What do I NEED to help myself though this?" I need some comfort, that's probably why I'm craving comfort foods, or foods from my childhood when my mom would take care of me after falling. I also need some reassurance that my other worst-case scenarios will not come true.

3. "How can I get what I need without food?" I can get a shoulder massage from my husband, or go see a massage therapist for my neck and shoulders. I can also go to gym and do Yoga to stretch my body out. I can call up my folks or talk to my husband and get some sympathy or reassurance that everything is going to be OK. 

4. "What can I learn from this? Where is the bright side here?" The bright side of falling down the stairs this morning, is that my son didn't get hurt. Even though it has always been a fear of mine, it didn't result in a horrific accident, just a sore neck. I can use this situation to help me to remember that I need to SLOW DOWN and give myself a break for not having some things done after a long eventful weekend. 

As you can see, taking a few minutes to silently reflect and check-in with yourself by asking the above questions, will really help you gain clarity and control over any situation. Instead of being taken on a roller coaster ride, you will put yourself in the driver's seat. This can help you obtain a more positive outlook on life, and it will help guard you against emotional & compulsive eating that many people run to when they don't know how to deal with yucky situations presented to them in their life.

How do you deal with stressful or yucky occurrences in your life? Leave a comment below about what's worked for you in dealing with life's little lemons.

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